I know I’ve been honest in sharing my encounters with negative arseholes while I’m out running but todays encounter was a little different.
Today the Arsehole in question was very familiar to me.
A good 7kms of my run was being told ‘You are going too fucking slow”. The Arsehole was telling me to pull my top down and feel self conscious about my body anytime I passed someone. The Arsehole even tried to encourage me to slow down and walk past people so they couldn’t see how I looked when running as obviously I didn’t look like a ‘Runner’.
As I continued on my run I realised that, that Arsehole was causing me to actually grimace, my shoulders to tense and my breathing to fuck up.
It’s been a while since I’ve encountered this particular Arsehole. Luckily I feel I’m stronger now to take them on.
I was better than this.
A quick reality check and talking to for this overthinking Runner & here came my game plan; my last 4 kms of running would involve –
-No looking at my watch
-Dig deep & run hard because nothing beats that feeling of strong.
-Total change of mind set – moving completely away from the focus of aesthetics to the gratitude of the simple act of movement.
-Smile like a mofo Psychopath.
-Only inner dialogue allowed is Positive & Kind.
-Remind myself What’s the alternative? If I waited till I looked like a ‘Runner’ or was faster i’d still be sitting on the couch. Self hate couldn’t and wouldn’t be my motivation.
So what happened?
Was I faster? No, bloody idea I wasn’t looking at my watch.
Did I have to fake it? At first yes. After awhile No.
Was it more enjoyable? Hell Yes.
Was it easier? 100% Yes.
Did I feel better about myself? 100% Yes.
Stop putting energy into things that don’t fucking matter.
I may not be able to control the shit I hear and see from others but I sure as hell can control what I tell and show myself.
Just as you are.