Learning to save ‘Brave’ for the important things

Standing by the oceans edge, the sun on my body, waves gently rolling in, kids splashing & at their best.  I was stuck inside my own head working up the courage.

Courage? What brave noble act was I about to partake in I hear you ask!?

I was merely working up the courage to strip down to my bathers and walk into the beautiful ocean.

I love swimming. I truely believe a dip in the ocean is good for the soul & always makes my EDS body feel invigorated.  But there has been so many times I have opted to “just watch” because I was too self conscious.

I use to think of that point of quickly ripping your clothes off to expose my body in bathers as the walk of shame.

Shame that my body took up too much space,

Shame that it bared my droopy Ehlers Danlos scarred skin,

Shame that it wasn’t “beach body ready”

So much shame that made me think that no one should or would want to bare witness to viewing it.

This is where the story use to stop with me. 

I just wouldn’t go in the ocean.

Thankfully, these days the story has changed at this point.

I wont lie.

I still have those thoughts, some days more than others.

What has changed for me?

Life experience perhaps

Life Priorities perhaps

An understanding and gratefulness for the freedom of health and movement

Accepting that there are still things I want to change about my body (mainly for functionality) & work on BUT I can still love it & USE it right now as it is.

An understanding to not give meaning to my body solely judged on its aesthetics.

Now I give those useless negative thoughts the middle finger.  I get frustrated with myself for wasting the act of bravery for something as simple and primal as swimming & make the plunge into the beautiful ocean water.

As I swam in the (icy cold) water (bloody Melbourne) I realised I had so many more worthwhile things to work towards & actually be brave about. Wearing a swim suit was not one of them.

I ain’t got time for this anymore.

On any day my option to breathe in the ocean water could be taken.

Fuck being “Brave” for just showing up & enjoying the simplicities in life.

We are so much more than this.

#EDSRUNFREE